A Letter to My Younger Self
This is your future self. Unless someone one day figures out this whole time travel thing, you’ll probably never see this, but here’s to hoping!
You’re probably stressing over assignments and exams, as we usually do. You might even be wondering how things turn out years down the line. I’m here to tell you that, well…they don’t turn out quite as you expected.
In university, you had plans to become a teacher. Good news is you do end up exploring that field and it teaches you a lot about the real world, mental health, and yourself. Bad news is your time in the academic world is rather short-lived. Before you panic, hear me out. I know that sounds like the worst thing in the world and trust me, I thought it was too.
But you end up finding a different path. A path that brings you back to your first love, writing. I’m not from that far into the future, so I can’t quite tell you how this path works out, but I assure you that I’ll do my best to make you proud.
For a long time, you kept a secret buried deep inside you. Your obsessive tendencies and your anxiety. You would repeatedly check on things, praying no one notices or judges you. But guess what? I came clean. I wrote something raw and unfiltered and put it out there into the world. I spoke about checking things incessantly. I spoke about our most vulnerable moments and you know what?
The world didn’t cave in. No one unfollowed or unfriended us, on social media or in real life. All that fear of judgement and rejection…I wish I could tell you to put it down, but I don’t think you can. Not for now, at least. Just know this, there will come a time when it becomes easier to talk about it and you’ll come to realise that the people around you are more supportive and understanding that you could have ever imagined.
You always worried about being an introvert. About not being as social as you thought you should be. Well, I can safely tell you that you have nothing to worry about. You have a great support system of family and friends and you will feel loved. You don’t have a ton of friends, but you’ll come to realise the few friends you do have are gold.
They have seen you through college, marriage, joblessness, your anxiety, and they stuck around. They encourage you as you pursue this dream of writing, this almost distant dream that sometimes feels like it’s out of reach. But on your darkest days, when you feel your words carry no meaning or value, they will be there to remind you otherwise.
And yes, you heard me right, you get married. You get married at the age of 26 to your best friend. I know you have a ton of questions, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise. I know you often feel like you aren’t good enough or that you’re unworthy of love, but just be you. Do what you love. Write, sing, laugh, and be unapologetically yourself. With a little help, you’ll meet someone who appreciates your quirks and believes in you the way you thought only appa can.
I know you’re self-conscious about your body. So here’s what happens on that front: you lose some weight and then you put it back on again. And you know what? It’s okay. You start dressing up and appreciating your body instead of constantly tearing it down. You’ll wear something cute, accessorise, and twirl in front of the mirror. Yep, you heard me, you’ll twirl! Not because you lost all the weight you hated for so long and suddenly became “beautiful”, but because you started to realise that there’s more than one type of beautiful.
I’m not sure how much more I can tell you. To be honest, I don’t have everything figured out yet. I know you’re expecting to have things pretty much sorted by the time you’re in your late 20s, but that’s not really how things work out. I’ve set out on this adventure and there’s no telling for sure how it’ll end up, but I’m enjoying the ride. I hope you do too.
P.S. Stock up on face masks and hand sanitiser in 2019 and be sure to pass them around to your family and friends. In fact, post on social media and get everyone to do the same. Trust me, it’ll be important.